Photographed by Noa Griffel

In her latest book Finerman’s Rules, the President of the Manhattan-based hedge fund Metropolitan Capital Advisors and mother of four shares her advice on life, love and being financially savvy.

To be truly successful in business women need to…
Convey confidence — real or imagined, either will suffice. Fake it til it’s real.

The biggest obstacle for women trying to get ahead…
Women need to feel comfortable being ambitious and taking risks. You have to be your own advocate. You’re in charge of your career, no one else cares about it like you do.

For the financially clueless to “take control of their financial destiny,” they should begin with…
First, figure out what you have, what you owe and how much you spend — you can’t get to a financially sound place if you don’t know where you are starting.

One thing all women should know about investing…
That no one, man or woman, is born knowing about finance. It needs to be learned. Read the Wall Street Journal or Stocks for Dummies. Ask, ask, ask questions. No question is stupid.

If you’re just starting to invest, I’d suggest…
Start with ETF — Exchange Traded Funds that mirror a broad index such as SPY that mirrors the S&P 500, or a low-cost mutual fund. ETF’s trade just like individual stocks. Dollar-cost averaging means putting in a little money into investments every month, whether the market is up or down. This allows you to take the emotion out of investing. It is human nature to feel like buying when the market is strong and avoid investing when it’s down, but it’s illogical as an investment strategy for long-term investors.

Three things every woman should know about moving up the
corporate ladder…

One, the ladder isn’t straight up. Two, sometimes the ladder is a chute down. And, three, you may need to switch to a completely different ladder.

Tips to achieving professional success while keeping the
work/life balance…

Cut yourself some slack. You’re not a perfect employee, boss, friend, daughter, so how can you expect to be a perfect mother? It’s a noble quest, but know that perfection is elusive and that’s OK. Admit mistakes. There are some jobs where it really is not possible to have a family. The main hurdle is not having a set, reliable schedule or an ability to be in charge of your time.

The best advice I ever got about my money…
From Joel Greenblatt, the brilliant investor. It’s the lesson of making investments that have a much bigger upside than downside.

The best advice I ever got about love…
Once when I was complaining that my husband wasn’t more ______ (romantic, sociable, etc.), he said, “Listen, it’s not a la carte.” Also, 10 years into my marriage I got three cryptic words from his mother: “Yield to succeed.” It means give something (goodwill, kindness, patience) in order to get what you want.

Book that changed my life…
The ultra-corny How to Win Friends and Influence People. It teaches the basic, yet overlooked skill of learning to walk in someone else’s shoes, to think about what they want. It changes your perspective on relationships in every aspect of your life. That would be my gift book to any graduate heading out into the world or into a relationship.

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